"His Script, Our Play" - LOVE GOD'S WAY
- Timothy Nyamgero
- Jan 31
- 14 min read
Updated: Mar 10
God's Design for Erotic/Romantic Love
Our topic "His Script, Our Play" is about Romantic Love and it’s expressions as designed by God.
The possessive pronoun His is the topic refers to God the ideal Script writer of Romantic Plays.
God is the designer of Love and Sex. He has a script for the same and those who care to learn from Him and walk the journey of love and relationship with him will experience the fulness and satisfaction that he intended for romantic love and sex.
Definitions
Script: the written text of a play
Play: a dramatic performance
Play Script: A play or drama script is the story that has been written for actors to perform, with the term 'play' relating to a theatrical performance.
People who write them are called Playwrights, and sometimes the physical scripts might be called manuscripts, while some historical scripts are called folios due to their format.
They are essential so that everyone involved in a theatre production can learn the story and do their role in sync, both onstage and behind the scenes.
What Does a Play script contain
Characters: A list of the characters in the play
Acts and scenes: The play may be divided into acts, which are then divided into scenes.
Dialogue: The lines for each character, with the character's name on the left and a colon before the dialogue
Stage directions: Instructions for how the play should be performed, written in italics and parentheses
When we allow God to write the Script of our Love Story, we get to experience the fulness and satisfaction that He intended Love and Romance to bring to those who approach them His way. We also get the privilege of Playing His Script which is always good, pleasing and perfect.
Genesis 2
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam[f] no suitable helper was found.
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g] and then closed up the place with flesh.
22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Song of Songs 2:7, 3:5 and 8:4
Daughters of Jerusalem,
I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love, until it so desires.
Who introduced you to Love?
Parents?
Siblings?
Friends?
Soap Operas?
Movies and TV Shows?
What formed your understanding and attitude of Love?
It was expressed by parents/siblings/friends and family.
Influence from movies and TV Shows
A talk with someone.
A book.
In as much as we may have been introduced to Love and Relationships or even marriage by people and other means, God desires that His view of Love, Relationship, Sexuality, Marriage, and family be the Standard through which we view and exercise these things. He has a design for all these things and standards for them.
God desires that we approach love, friendships and relationships His way. i.e according to his original biblical design.
God designed us to be us to be loving and relational beings. He did this by creating us in His image and likeness as expressed in the Trinity.
God’s main reason of creating us in His image and likeness was that we would reflect the unity, love and bond that was in their between the father, son and the Holy Spirit.
When we follow God’s design and purpose for these things, we get to experience the intended satisfaction, fulfilment and pleasure.
God’s design for Love
God is the sole author/ initiator of love and relationships.
Before the earth was formed there was a relationship between God the father, son and Holy Spirit. The God head existed and played various roles in creation.
God created humanity in his image and likeness. In doing this, God’s desire was that men would love one another and relate like the He did with the son and the Holy Spirit.
Genesis 1:26-27 - 26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
This relationship was based on love. Love is one of the attributes of God and an essential part of His nature God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.
1 John 4:16 - 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
God’s design for relationships is that they be based on love.
Jesus said that the greatest commandment in the Old Testament was, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind” (Matthew 22:36ff; Deuteronomy 6:5).
The second commandment was, “Love your neighbour as yourself”
God’s design for Relationships
God’ s design for relationships and friendships is that they be based on love and so according to God’s design it is impossible to talk about relationships without talking about love.
There are two main types of relationships.
Relationship between God and man
Relationship between man and man
Relationship between God and man
This kind of relationship is based on Agape love
Agape Love: is the highest of the four types of love in the Bible.
This term defines God's immeasurable, incomparable love for humankind.
It is the divine love that comes from God. Agape love is
Perfect
Unconditional
Sacrificial
Pure.
Jesus Christ demonstrated this kind of divine love to his Father and to all humanity in the way he lived and died.
How should we respond to this kind of Love?
By believing in Christ and accepting him as our Lord and savior: Salvation
John 3:16: For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Accepting God’s love and believing in His son Jesus grants us the privilege to be called the Children of God and enjoy the full expression of God’s love towards humanity.
The full expression of God’s love is only found and experienced in Christ.
John 1:12: Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, he gave the right to become the children of God.
Opening our hearts and minds to the rule of His spirit so that we can bear good fruit and love and he loves.
For those who are in Christ Jesus, God also gives us the precious gift of His Holy Spirit, to be with us and in us forever. The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Love, is what unifies us with God and with others who are part of Christ’ body of believers.
John 14:15-17 NIV “If you love me, you will obey what I command. {16} And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever– {17} the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.
Relationship between man and man
This kind of relationship is based on
Philia love
Eros
Philia love: is the type of intimate love in the Bible that most Christians practice toward each other.
This Greek term describes the powerful emotional bond seen in deep friendships. Philia is the most general type of love in Scripture, encompassing love for fellow humans, care, respect, and compassion for people in need.
The concept of brotherly love that unites believers is unique to Christianity.
Philia love is the love that those who have experience the Agape love express to one another.
This love is unique to believers because they have a relationship with God and have experienced His love and therefore are able to share the same love with others.
The quality of your relationship with God will directly affect the quality of all your relationships with people.
Although life is short, the rewards of loving God, and of letting His love flow through you to other people has infinite benefits that will keep on blessing you, now and forever.
The only thing that you can take to heaven with you is the people that you love. The only rewards that you have in heaven are for the times that you express love to God through obedience to Him, and the times that you allow Him to express His love for others through you.
(1 Corinthians 2:9) But as it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”
In John 21:15-16, Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him with the agapao type of love and Peter responded that he had the normal human phileo type of love for Him. Later, after receiving the Holy Spirit, Peter would be able to genuinely demonstrate agapao -type godly love, serving others throughout his lifetime and making the ultimate sacrifice in martyrdom.
Eros is the Greek word for sensual or romantic love. The term originated from the mythological Greek goddess of love, sexual desire, physical attraction, and physical love. Even though the term is not found in the Old Testament, Song of Solomon vividly portrays the passion of erotic love.
God’s design for Erotic Love.
The romance and deep companionship God designed to be shared between a man and a woman are so important to Him that He uses the analogy of an engaged couple to explain Christ’s love for the Church.
But He also makes it clear that romance has a time and place.
The first natural stage of erotic relationships is attraction.
The full expression of erotic love is experienced in sex.
God’s design for sex is that it be enjoyed in the context of marriage between a husband and wife.
When we consider God’s Design for Erotic love, we get to experience intended pleasure and joy intended in God’s original plan.
Sexuality is designed by God as a way to know God more fully .
Knowing God is designed by God as a way of Guarding and guiding our sexuality.
This type of love is vividly expressed in Songs of Songs
Songs of Songs
Song of Songs is classified as one of the poetic and wisdom literatures in the bible.
"Song of Songs,” a Hebrew idiom similar to “holy of holies” or “king of kings.” It’s a Hebrew way of saying that something is the greatest. This song is the greatest song of all". Bible Project
It is a dramatized poem/song on Erotic love and its expressions.
The Chorus/refrain of the poem is highlighted in chapters 2:7,3:5 and 8:4
“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases”
The Cast
1. The Shunamite woman
2. The male Lover: “Solomon"
3. The Daughters of Jerusalem
4. Brothers of the Shunamite woman
The Scenes
1. The Courtship
2. The Wedding night
3. The Marriage
Chapter 1
1 The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's.
The Bride Confesses Her Love
She
2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine;3 your anointing oils are fragrant; your name is oil poured out; therefore virgins love you.4 Draw me after you; let us run. The king has brought me into his chambers.
Others
We will exult and rejoice in you; we will extol your love more than wine; rightly do they love you.
She
5 I am very dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon.
6 Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me. My mother's sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!
7 Tell me, you whom my soul loves, where you pasture your flock, where you make it lie down at noon; for why should I be like one who veils herself beside the flocks of your companions?
Solomon and His Bride Delight in Each Other
He
8 If you do not know, O most beautiful among women, follow in the tracks of the flock, and pasture your young goats beside the shepherds' tents.
9 I compare you, my love, to a mare among Pharaoh's chariots.10 Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels.
Lessons from Chapter 1:1-10
In Songs of songs 1:2: The Shunamite woman is attracted to Solomon because of His perfumes. She confesses that other maidens also love Solomon because of the fragrance of his perfumes.
The use of perfumes in this poetic text is both literal and figurative.
Literal because;
Solomon was a hardworking and wise prince who was able to afford expensive perfumes.
Ladies are prone to get attracted to men with expensive perfumes. They like guys who smell good. Ladies is that true?
Solomon was such a guy and many of the daughters of Jerusalem had a “crush” on him.
Figurative because
The fragrance of Solomon’s perfume is likened to a good name.
A good name is used in the bible to describe ones character and godliness
Solomon had a good name in Jerusalem.
Wisdom call us to seek for Godliness and Character in erotic relationships and not just money and manners.
Good manners can give an impression but may not be authentic.
Solomon’s good name was not only know to the Shunamite woman but to many of the daughters of Jerusalem and they loved him for it.
Ladies want to get married to me with good names.
We should work on having a good name. It’s found in Christ
Proverbs 22:1 : A good name is better than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.
Proverbs 10:1: The name of the righteous is used in blessings, but the name of the wicked will rot.
Wise ladies get attracted to men with good names and not wealth and riches.
Work more on acquiring a good name in Christ Jesus than conforming to trends and lifestyles that make you appear cool and attractive.
Money plays a key role in facilitating relationships.
Young people may not be able to steadily run relationships because they lack money.
To buy perfumes
To go out with their partners
To meet their needs and the needs of their partners
Vs 5: Dark, yet lovely.
Solomon’s maiden describes herself as Dark yet lovely.
Dark: To show her physical appearance.
She goes on to explain to Solomon why She was dark.
Vs 6: Her brothers made her take care of the sheep at the expense of her own appearance.
She obeyed and submitted to the authority of the brothers.
This exposed her to the sun and hence her dark skin.
Solomons maiden is not just pretty, she is beautiful. (A combination of outer and inner beauty)
Vs 7: She asks Solomon to let her take care of His sheep.
She has experience on this from home. She knows how to and can do it.
Vs 7b and 8: Solomons maiden gives a contrast between the Character and behavior of other ladies in Jerusalem and her good character.
The ladies in Jerusalem as mentioned veil themselves to give a false impression and image of who they really are.
For Solomon’s maiden, she is sure of her good Character.
Vs 10-11: Solomon admires his maidens’ physical beauty and grooming.
Main message
The book of Songs of song is classified under poetic and wisdom literature
Wisdom is expressed a lot in literature using figurative language and the book of Songs of songs does just that.
Every poetic writing has a main message.
This is usually expressed in the Chorus or refrain.
In this book the refrain is highlighted in Chapter 2:7, 3:5 and 8:4
The message is:
“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases”
Solomon’s maiden/ fiancée considers it wise and encourages the daughters of Jerusalem not to stir up or awaken erotic love before it pleases.
Erotic love has its time and place. It is wise not to awaken this kind of love before it pleases.
This message is mainly addressed to the youth. The young daughters of Jerusalem.
Conclusion: Application
Young people need to slow down on erotic love and wait.
Kindly not that I am saying young people should slow down and not young people should ignore and avoid.
This is because:
Most young people lack what it takes to engage in erotic love and sex.
It takes being physically, mentally and spiritually mature to engage in erotic love.
Attaining this level of maturity requires time.
God wants young people to pass though several experiences both with Him and through him and with other people that will eventually make them mature and able to handle this kind of love.
Erotic love is designed for men and women and not boys and girls.
There is time for everything (Priorities)
Ecclesiastes 3:1- There is time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.
Vs 11: He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from the beginning to end.
Erotic love has its time.
This time should not be prompted by age, feelings, peer pressure, preference, human desires and pleasures or even trends.
God desires that we open up to the rule of His spirit and trust Him to prompt us on when and how to awaken this kind of love. For it is Him who works in us to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose. Phil 2:13
He makes everything beautiful in its time.
Erotic love when awakened has a way of captivating us and not giving us adequate time to attend to other things that may be of more priority and that require more attention.
We must be careful to keep the right priorities especially in our singlehood since it is a gift that lasts for a while.
Our greatest temptations comes from the areas of our needs.
The enemy will tempt us mainly from the areas of our needs. e.g food, money, love etc.
Love and sex are part of our human needs, they must however be channeled and preserved because they are good.
God who created us with this needs has ways and means through which He wants to meet this need in our lives.
He desires that we trust in Him with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding. To acknowledge Him in all our ways so that he may make our paths straight.
As expressed in Ephesians 6:11: We should be careful to always put on the full armor of God so that we can take our stand against the devils schemes. He schemes a lot in the around our need for erotic love and all that comes with it.
Take to take time in prayer and waiting upon the Lord as to be able to know his good pleasing and perfect will.
Since it is God who works in us to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose. Phil 2:13, we must learn to approach relationships with serious prayer and with fasting.
We must learn to overcome anxiety and fears and know how to make our requests known to him in prayer and petition with thanksgiving so that the peace of God that transcends all understanding may guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Biblical Application
The Love Story of Joseph and Mary in the New Testament is a beautiful story of how God can use us to tell his love story to the world when we allow Him to write our love story.
I charge You Ladies and Gentlemen by the grace of God not to arouse or awaken love until it pleases.
Flee away from the fleeting pleasures of lust and sexual sin and Chastity as God’s Design for Erotic love.
For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. Titus 2:11-12
Thank you and God bless!
Pastor Timothy Nyamgero
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